She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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