trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
