We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
