When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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