This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
