i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
