apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
