Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
