Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
