Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
