Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
