yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
