I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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