Screwed.edu
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize