She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
