do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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