Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
