erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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