i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
