Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
So. Much. Porn.
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