Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
