pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
