I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
