How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
