I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Randomize
