Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
