I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
