I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Two words: nipple clamps
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