I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
