but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
