Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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