Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize