Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
