Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
