found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
