I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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