I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
