is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize