Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
