I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
vagina is talking i cant
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
