Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We had to coat check the pizza.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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