Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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