i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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