Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
