If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize