i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My breasts were aching with rage.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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