Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
