my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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