You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize