Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
