my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
