so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
