her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize