Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
