im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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