It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
