He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
