is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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