Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
