for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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