i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
