Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize