Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Are my feet made of real feet?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
