i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
