But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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