how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize