I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
