You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
