Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize