Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
