Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
