1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
